


The Curious Case Of The Cookies, Which Are Not In The Cookie Jar

by somehowunbroken



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Gen, Ladystuck, Pre-Sburb/Sgrub
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-29
Updated: 2012-12-29
Packaged: 2017-11-22 20:15:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,396
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/613875
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/somehowunbroken/pseuds/somehowunbroken
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There's a mystery in the Crocker household, and Master Gumshoe Jane Crocker is going to get to the bottom of it.</p><p>Whatever a gumshoe is, anyway.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Curious Case Of The Cookies, Which Are Not In The Cookie Jar

**Author's Note:**

  * For [everlight](https://archiveofourown.org/users/everlight/gifts).



> This was written for Ladystuck 2012. The prompt I used was: Jane Crocker. Tiny Jane playing detective! It would just be really cute. I can't think of anyway to be any more specific! I just love everything about Jane and I love detective stories and I think any way to spin this would just be fantastic and I would love it forever.
> 
> Thanks to shinysylver for beta work!

There is a mystery in Maple Valley, and you, the greatest, gutsiest gumshoe ever, are going to solve it.

(You’re not sure why detectives are called gumshoes. Detectives are supposed to be sneaky and smart, right? If they were good at being sneaky and smart, wouldn’t they see the gum before they stepped on it, and not have gummy shoes?

That’s not today’s mystery, though. Maybe tomorrow.)

The facts of the case are simple: when you left for school this morning, there were three cookies left in the cookie jar. Now, five minutes after you got off the bus in the afternoon, there are none.

One was a sugar cookie from the last time Daddy got out the rolling pin. Another was a chocolate crinkle, covered in powdered sugar and gooey in the center. The last was a sandwich cookie that your friend Emily didn’t eat when she was visiting over the weekend.

(You’re not that upset about the sandwich cookie. It came from a BOX. That’s just gross.

The other two, well, that’s a different story. That’s today’s mystery.)

So what’s the first step to solving a mystery, you wonder? You frown and think back to the latest episode of Scooby-Doo. You don’t have a Mystery Machine, and you’re not really in the mood for a sandwich, so that’s mostly useless. You stand in the kitchen for a moment, tapping your foot on the floor while you think.

Aha!

You run up the stairs and open the chest in the corner of your bedroom. It takes a minute, but you find two sets of Detective Glasses – one with a Handy Mustache Disguise, and one without. You decide to save the disguise for later, and slip on the regular Detective Glasses for now. You grab your magnifying glass from the bottom of the chest, too. A search of your desk gets you a notebook and half of a bright blue crayon, and with that, you start your work.

Detectives ask questions, and they always do everything they can to crack the case. You look at your supplies and think about your problem, and then you get to work.

  


You look at your work and nod. It’s not a perfect picture, but it’s good enough for now. You especially like the way you drew the sugar cookie. The house shape is your favorite cookie cutter. You like decorating the little houses with icing, and dividing them up into nice rooms. It would be better if you could find your red crayon for that one, but you think it’s probably close enough.

You leave your room and wander around your house, looking for witnesses to interview. You show your picture to all of the posters in the hallway and ask if they saw anything, but none of them give you any clues. Poppop doesn’t know anything either, but he smiles at you when you ask, and you smile right back. Poppop is the best at cheering you on.

This case is trickier than you thought, but you’re still the most clever gumshoe out there! You’ll figure it out in no time at all.

(Maybe it’ll take a little bit of time. That’s okay, though. As long as it doesn’t take too much time, because then you’ll get hungry, and you’ll miss your cookies even more.)

You decide the next step should be to investigate the scene of the crime. You head into the kitchen and stare at the empty cookie jar on the table. This looks like a job for your magnifying glass, so you carefully pull it out of your pocket, climb up on the nearest chair, and get really close to the jar.

There are crumbs on the table! This could be a really important clue. You pull out your notebook and crayon and get to work drawing the scene.

  


You decide that you should probably taste the crumbs, just so you know which cookie they came from. That could be important, right? You expertly lick your finger and press it into the crumbs so they stick, then lick them off. You squint your eyes so it looks like you’re thinking really hard, then add a description to your drawing of the jar.

  


You frown. You’re pretty sure that you spelled chocolate wrong, but you know what you meant. After a minute of staring, you smile again. It’s a secret code. Now nobody will be able to steal your notes!

You think it might be time to do some sneaking around, so you pull off your regular Detective Glasses and slap on the Handy Mustache Disguise ones. When you wiggle your nose, the mustache moves up and down, just like a real one would. Perfect! Now nobody will be able to recognize you.

(You really like your Handy Mustache Disguise. Sometimes when you’re not being a detective, you put it on so you can make faces at yourself in the mirror. It’s a lot of fun.)

You sneak back into the living room and walk up to Poppop again. He still doesn’t have an answer for you, but he smiles at you anyway. You think he can probably see through the disguise, but Poppop was a magician. He’s allowed to see through it. You smile back at him and keep going.

You talk to all of the witnesses again, this time adding that you found chocolate cookie crumbs at the scene. They still don’t know where your cookies went, and now you’re starting to feel a little hungry. You sit on your bed and think for a minute. Maybe it’s time to try something else.

You creep back down the stairs and slowly, slowly sneak to the window. It doesn’t take long for you to find Daddy. He’s sitting at the picnic table, facing away from the house. You smile. Perfect!

You tiptoe to the back door and open it up. It squeaks a little bit when you get it halfway, so you push it faster and hope Daddy didn’t hear. You catch the door before it closes and shut it really carefully, and when you look up, Daddy is still facing away.

You’re the sneakiest, gutsiest gumshoe that there ever was.

You walk up to the table and whip out your notebook, clearing your throat loudly. “Mr. Crocker!”

Daddy turns and looks down at you. “Why, Ms. Detective! What brings you to Maple Valley today?”

You grin. Daddy is so good at this.

“There has been a robbery,” you inform him. “Someone stole the cookies out of the cookie jar.”

Daddy gasps and brings his hand up to cover his mouth. “How awful! Who would do such a thing? I was saving those cookies for my Janey to eat when she got home from school!”

You nod very seriously and show him your notebook. “I made these drawings so we could find the cookies. Have you seen them?”

Daddy squints his eyes and taps his finger against his chin. “Hmmm,” he says. “You know what, Ms. Detective? I think I might have seen these cookies.”

“You _have_?” you gasp. You should have started with Daddy! The case would have been solved a lot faster. Now you know for next time.

Daddy nods. “In fact, I know exactly where they are. I’m saving them for Jane, though, so I’m afraid I can’t give them to you.”

You tear your Handy Mustache Disguise off and throw it behind you. “Daddy! It was me the whole time!”

“Jane!” Daddy says, smiling and bending down to scoop you up and plop you in his lap. “That was an excellent disguise, my dear. I’m so proud of you.”

“Thanks, Daddy!” you say. “Do you really know where the cookies are?”

Daddy nods and points at the table. You turn around, and sure enough, there’s a plate with the sugar cookie and the chocolate crinkle, and a glass of milk next to it.

“I got hungry waiting for you and ate the sandwich cookie,” Daddy says. “I hope you don’t mind.”

You smile and reach for the plate. “We can split these cookies,” you offer generously.

“Why, thank you, Janey,” Daddy says, reaching for the chocolate crinkle and breaking it perfectly in half. You munch away on your cookies with Daddy, telling him all about your investigation while you eat. You’re so happy that you solved it! The cookies are delicious.

  


**Author's Note:**

> Happy holidays, everlight! I hope you enjoyed this :)


End file.
